By Frank J. Diekmann
Last week the Cooperative Trust and Filene announced the largest-ever number of young CU leaders had applied this year to be GAC “Crashers.” In honor of their enthusiasm, I am hereby announcing the formation of my own group of GAC-goers: “Crashed.”
If you’ve been to any credit union meeting at which Crashers are present, I won’t need to introduce you. The CU movement needs these emerging leaders to put the move in movement. These young leaders are excited and enthusiastic, they wear coordinated, colorful t-shirts, they dash around as an exuberant gang of CU Housekateers, and at the very mention of the word “Crash…” they start woo-wooing involuntarily.
As members of Crashed, we will not be woo-wooing. In fact, if you so much as “woo” you will be expelled from Crashed. Not physically, of course, as we’re tired, so we’ll likely outsource the expulsion. I’m sure there’s a startup fintech that specializes in expelling people out there right now looking to raise venture capital.
The Membership Requirements. Sort of.
How do you qualify to join the exclusive ranks of Crashed membership? According to our bylaws, which no one had the energy to write down so I’m doing my best to share this from an increasingly feeble memory:
- When it comes to GAC, have you “been there, heard that?” That is, if you could make it through your life without ever again hearing one more politician proclaiming that “credit unions are for Main Street, not Wall Street,” and that “Washington needs to get out of the way of credit unions so you can serve your members,” you are eligible for membership.
- If you’ve already cut one personal and one CU check to the PAC this year only to be told “advocacy requires year-round diligence!” which is code for “we could use another check,” you are eligible for membership.
- If you’ve come to realize all that check-cutting and fundraising and Hill hiking just makes you as much a part of a very big game in DC as everyone else, and if it increasingly feels like your money is going to those in the “people helping themselves” business, you may be eligible for emeritus membership in Crashed.
- If some of those in attendance at GAC look an awful lot like they’re high school friends of your kids, you may sign up for Crashed.
- If you’ve ever had a vendor in a trade show booth tell you they have a brother/sister/father/mother/best friend with the same first name as you, you’re probably in.
- If you’ve ever told a vendor that, yes, indeed, you bet our credit union is in fact thinking about a new database warehouse/DP system/analytics solution--even though you’ve purchased all three within the last year--because your board member heard there is a free steak dinner at Smith & Wollensky’s to be had, welcome, my friend, to Crashed.
- If you looked at the 9 p.m. starting time of the Crashers’ Thunderpunch party and thought, ‘Wow, that would be great if I could be in bed by then,’ sleep well my fellow Crashed member.
Our Brand? Are You Kidding?
And as I’ve pointed out before, for the record you’re not “crashing” anything when you’ve been officially invited, your presence is announced, and you have a brand.
Meanwhile, we Crashed Members haven’t been sent an invitation (and if we were we are probably too tired/skeptical this is a scam to open it) and, definitely, there will be no one announcing us. And while we don’t have a brand, we do have a “look.” And it ain’t pretty. You know who we/you are.
So, if all this sounds like you, welcome to Crashed. Just don’t start woo-wooing.
Frank J. Diekmann is Cooperator in Chief of CUToday.info and can be reached at Frank@CUToday.info. Mr. Diekmann is also author of several new book, including the brand new “The Last Lyric,” a humorous satire about a murder investigation at the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame in which every line of dialogue is either a classic pop/rock song title or lyric. Available on Amazon, Apple iBook, Barnes & Noble and Smashwords. Mr. Diekmann is also author of a non-fiction compilation of the very best & worst he has seen and heard in covering more than 500 CU meetings and conferences, “501 Name Tags: How Everything You Need to Know About Business Can Be Learned at a Conference & Forgotten in the Trade Show.” It is available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Apple, Lulu, and Smashwords