LOVELAND, Ohio–It’s unlikely there are any other pair of words that have elicited more responses, emotions, marriages, divorces, wars and peace than these—love and money—and credit unions often find themselves at the intersection.
This Valentine’s Day, CUToday.info has put down the candy, flowers and failed attempts at poetry to Google those two words and in 0.39 seconds, the algorithm offered some 6.040 billion results.
As CUToday.info recognizes just how busy credit union leaders are with not just the day-to-day work but also their people-romancing-people responsibilities, we understand there probably isn’t time to review any more than a billion or so of those results. So, here’s a sampling of just some of what you will find when searching “Love and Money.”
The Band
Not surprisingly, there is a band named, “Love and Money,” in this case a Scottish rock/soul/funk band, formed in 1985 in Glasgow, Scotland. The band was formed by three former members of Friends Again. In their initial nine years together they recorded four moderately successful albums, three of which were released in the United States, and had six chart hits in the United Kingdom.
The Question I
Google the question, “Is money important, or love?” and this will be among the responses: “…Both love and money are important aspects of life, but the answer to which one is more important depends on individual values and priorities. Love provides us with emotional support and happiness, while money provides us with financial security and stability.”
The Question II
An online posting asked, “How to choose between love and money?”
“It's one of the main reasons why love stands above everything else in the world,” the response read. “It is the only emotion that has the power to be eternal, whereas money is just temporary happiness. You may buy things, travel anywhere, be powerful but you can never buy love. That's all the difference it takes.”
The Big Question III
One person asked on the great collective mind of the Internet, “Should I marry for love or money?”
The response: “Money cannot buy love, but money increases the chances of finding love, and love decreases the need for money. A higher income is associated with less daily sadness but not more daily happiness. A partner should not be a means for your success, but one with whom you share joint flourishing.”
The Book: The Angry, the ‘Wacky’
Among the books on the subject is the aptly titled Love & Money: Protecting Yourself from Angry Exes, Wacky Relatives, Con Artists, and Inner Demons Hardcover.” The book was published in 2017 by Ann-Margaret Carrozza (with a forward by Dr. Phil).
“It is no secret that we are living in an increasingly litigious society. What may come as a surprise, though, is that we are far more likely to be involved in a costly legal dispute with a former loved one than we are with a stranger,” according to the book’s description. “Ann-Margaret Carrozza will help you to easily understand and implement essential legal strategies to prevent you from doing legal battle with someone you once shared Thanksgiving dinner (or a pillow) with.”
The book says it offers advice on prenuptial agreements, postnuptial agreements, cohabitation agreements and love contracts.
The Film
Among many movies on the theme is “Love and Money,” a 1982 American drama film directed by James Toback and starring Ray Sharkey.
“The plot of the film is about Byron Levin, who works in a California bank,” the film’s description reads. “He becomes infatuated with Catherine Stockheinz, the wife of his billionaire boss. Frederic Stockheinz has a million-dollar offer to make. He asks Byron to go to the republic of Costa Salva to offer a business proposition to the dictator there, Lorenzo Prado, who just happens to be Byron's old college roommate. Matters become further complicated when Catherine and Byron begin an affair.”
The TV Series
Love & Money was also the name of a TV series that ran from 1999-2000. The plot: “The penthouse residing Conklin family of socialites and the basement-dwelling McBride family of maintenance men find themselves unhappily linked when the heiress daughter and blue collar son fall in love.”
The Wisdom?
CUToday.info also uncovered this gem of wisdom from the Internet: “Can a person have both money and true love at the same time?” The answer: “Yes and no.” So, consider that settled.
Reading Up on Preparing for Life
Among the many other books on the subject is “Money and Love: An Intelligent Roadmap for Life’s Biggest Decisions.” According to its description, the book is a guide for navigating life’s most consequential and daunting decisions using research-based insights road-tested in a popular Stanford University course.
“Years later, students who took the course say it prepared them for life better than any other they took in school. In this time of rapid and profound change, Money and Love offers reassuring guidance for making complex personal and professional choices,” the description states.
The Wisdom? of Youth
From UN Voices of Youth.org, which is hosted by UNICEF, a blog posting on love vs. money advises, “If you fell in love with a poor man, would you stay with him because ‘love always wins?’ Assuming I can't have both, love and money, and I chose money, would that make me a gold digger? Money minded? Shallow?
“They say love is the best feeling in the world and that those who are lucky enough to experience it are the happiest people in the world. That money should never be compared to love because love is endless and money can't buy love,” the posting continues. “Love is more important than money? Have you met poor people? If love was all you needed to be happy in life then the poor would be the happiest, most content people on the planet.”
Nothing Says Romance Like Term Life
As everyone in credit unions knows, there are few things in life more romantic than insurance products. But don’t take CUToday.info’s word for it.
According to LifeHappens.com, a nonprofit operated by the insurance industry, a survey it conducted found:
- 67% of those in a relationship agree there is nothing sexier than saving money
- 59% would feel more secure in their relationship if they discussed getting life insurance with their partner, and 51% say the right time to do that is before marriage
- 74% said it took between one and eight months to be comfortable talking about their finances with their partner, while in that same period, only 42% would say “I love you”
- 42% describe financial security as one of the most attractive traits to have in a romantic partner
Romance, Economists’ Style
Second only to insurance when it comes to implied romance is economics, and in 2010 the American Economic Association released a study titled, “For the Love or Money—or Both.”
If you’re at a loss for words to inscribe in your sweetheart’s card this year, borrow some of this sweet verbiage from the economists’ group: “A broad empirical overview sets the stage for the argument that this process cannot be properly evaluated using only a priori judgments about the suitability of marketization. The context in which markets operate is crucial, and while the growth of market provision poses some risks, it also offers some potential benefits.”
The Survey
According to TD Bank’s Love & Money Survey, which polled couples who are either married, in a committed relationship or divorced as part of an effort to better understand how they approach finances in their relationships, the “results reveal that Americans are contradicting themselves when it comes to how they feel about their partners’ financial well-being and behaviors.”
“Money secrets are at an all-time high, while many couples cite how happy they are in their relationships and continue to be comfortable with money conversations,” TD Bank said in releasing its findings. “This dynamic underpins the need for partners to maintain financial transparency and set expectations to achieve healthy relationships – both with their partners and their finances.”
The Relationship Advice
BetterHelp.com is offering this advice.
“There can be various reasons to enter a romantic relationship, but two common motivations that are featured in a relationship may be love and financial stability,” BetterHelp.com advised. “It is possible for relationships with varying motivations to be positive and healthy or negative and unhealthy, and the underlying reason for a relationship may not be as important as the health of the relationship. In both cases, it may be helpful to consider the possible dynamics these differing motivations can create when trying to assess your own preferences in life.”
The Truth from a Female Perspective
In a posting on ellevest.com—which is designed for women--titled “Truth about Love and Money,” Sallie Krawcheck—who once spoke to a credit union conference as part of Co-op Solutions’ THINK Conference, wrote, “…Certainly, there’s our own relationship with money — which can represent our dreams for ourselves and our families, or can be fraught, or can be driven by guilt.
“For many of you, your relationship with money has changed during the pandemic, as women have taken a disproportionate hit to the wallet. In our recent community survey about financial wellness, many of you told us that your relationship with money was more stressed…
“Money can also shape our relationships with others. And how. Even when we don’t immediately see the connection: For example, does anyone really think that women would have been doing so much more of the unpaid childcare and home labor during the pandemic if we made more money than the men in our lives? I didn’t think so.
“Because of the often-unspoken power dynamics of money in our relationships, money can be tough to talk about. We hear from many of you that even bringing up money in a relationship can be tough because a partner can view this as questioning their competency or their breadwinning ability…The
happiest couples are the ones who talk about money often. And those who talk about it least are the unhappiest.”
The ‘Toxic Mix’
From a posting on CBC.ca on the eternal question: “Love and money can be a toxic mix — here's how to take the conflict out of the conversation. Finances can be a stumbling block in a relationship, but it doesn't have to be that way.”
The Quote: Shakespeare
"For loan oft loses both itself and friend, And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry." —Polonius, Hamlet, Act 1 Scene 3
In this case, Polonius is generally portrayed as a fool in this speech, but he gets this right: Lending to your friends is a bad idea because you will end up without money or friends.
The Quote: Mark Twain
“Work like you don't need the money. Dance like no one is watching. And love like you've never been hurt.” ― Mark Twain
Love & Money, Credit Union Style
Use the keywords, “Credit union, love and money,” and a CUToday.info search found these results:
- Get Love My Credit Union Rewards at LoveMyCreditUnion.org
- A post from White River CU, “For Love and money, financial wellness for sweethearts”
- A post from MTC FCU titled, “Self-Care Love and Money”
- A post from Mountain America headlined, “16 Money Questions to Ask Before Marriage”
- A post from Rivermark Community CU titled, “Money and True Love” reminds, “Love is Forever (50% of the Time).” The post goes on to add, “Let’s cut to the chase: half of all marriages end in divorce, and an equal number of relationships fail. Before you combine your assets with anyone, protect yourself and take it slow”
- A post titled, “The Heart-Shaped Pressure Points of Love and Money,” from Filene
- A post from Members Community CU for its “Love of Money” promotion, which was for a nine-month share certificate
- A post from Partner Colorado Credit Union titled, “Eight Reasons to Love Your Credit Union”
