GAINESVILLE, Fla.–Which is more powerful, words or actions? The two are interwoven, but many leaders struggle with the communication piece–especially in increasingly diverse workplaces. One person is offering some help.
Susan Steinbrecher, CEO of Steinbrecher and Associates, noted most people struggle with authentic dialogue, lacking in the confidence and emotional self-regulation to interact with others, especially when emotions run high and differences of opinion are strong.
“Words can be uplifting and transformational, or they can be damaging and hurtful,” observed Steinbrecher in a piece on Inc.com. “When it comes right down to it, relationships are all we have in this world, so clear communication skills are the hidden gold in a successful and fulfilling life.”
Relationships First
To offer some insights, Steinbrecher pointed to work done by two experts on the way people communicate in personal relationships and at work. Dr. Helen LaKelly Hunt and Dr. Harville Hendrix are co-founders of Imago Relationship Therapy, recently launched in Dallas a program called “Relationships First” that works with schools, churches, police departments, and first responders, in which people are taught to connect and communicate effectively, despite their differences. Using a three-step process called "Safe Conversations," the program helps people from all walks of life and backgrounds become more compassionate and mindful in all of their relationships.
Three Key Concepts
The three key concepts involved in a "safe conversation" are mirroring, validating and empathizing. Here's a short rundown of the process: When having a "safe conversation" your partner is to mirror back exactly word-for-word what you have expressed, Steinbrecher wrote. The purpose is to deeply understand what was said and confirm that it has been heard and received. Secondly, the person on the listening end of the conversation needs to validate what is being expressed.
“Can you understand the other person's point of view?” asked Steinbrecher. “You do not have to agree with it necessarily, but you must continue asking questions until you have a firm comprehension of the person's opinion or point of view. What follows is empathizing. Can you put yourself in the other person's shoes? Can you imagine what it feels like when the other person was sharing their message with you? Is there anything else that needs to be said?”
Common Ground
According to Steinbrecher, the overwhelming success of the Relationships First program is proof that when a person learns to communicate without criticism and listen without judgment, it is possible to find common ground beyond your differences.