Nearly everyone has heard the conventional wisdom that you have only a few seconds to make a good first impression. But what happens during those few seconds?
According to a new report in Fast Company, when others are sizing you up, they’re measuring your "strength" and "warmth," characteristics, according to communication strategists Matt Kohut and John Neffinger in their book Compelling People, which is currently being taught at Harvard and Columbia Business Schools.
Strength is your capacity to make things happen with skills and willingness while warmth is the sense that you share the same feelings, interests, and view of the world as the person you’re speaking to, the Fast Company report said.
"The discovery of strength and warmth that John and I had came from our early clients," Kohut was quoted as saying. "They were either very accomplished and smart people to the point that they seem only interested in themselves and come off very cold and unfeeling. Or they were the nicest people in the world, but they were falling all over themselves apologizing and we feel like they won’t be able to deliver when the shops are down."
According to Fast Company, the authors concluded that the path to influence—and the common thread that makes leaders like Nelson Mandela and Oprah Winfrey influential—is the ability to balance both strength and warmth to gain the respect and trust of others.
"Once you grasp this insight, it opens up a whole new window on the human experience," write the authors. "You can understand why a person is appealing by looking closely at how they project strength and warmth. Or, if a person is not so appealing, you can see what makes them seem cold or weak."
To come out looking good when people are judging you, Kohut offered these tips:
- Stand up straight and adopt a “heart-centered posture.”
- Have a genuine smile and maintain eye contact.
- Be aware of the head tilt.
- Own the space
- Watch your gestures.
- Be comfortable with the pause.
- Strike a power pose.
For the complete report, go here.